looking up

you know how i am always talking about being positive? thinking happy? well i have to confess that last week i was doing exactly the opposite. really the opposite, like thinking dark, awful, mean things. why so down? so many reasons. one main one being that the side of my van came in direct and smashing contact with a stop light pole. the pole won. big time. adding to my running tally of why i really dont care too much for winter. i love snow, i think it is beautiful, but the daily trappings of living in cold weather really push my buttons, and apparently my car.

as a result i spent most of the end of the week wallowing in anger, which i am sure directly caused my cold to come back, leaving me wallowing in goo too. but then last night i sort of snapped out of it. i remembered all my bold statements of happiness and contentment, felt like a jerk for not living up to them and then did a one-eighty switch.

i put in the new shins album, turned up the volume, grabbed arlo and commenced dancing around the living room with eliot and collette. by golly it worked. i started smiling. i started laughing, eliot has some moves man. and then the best yet, i started feeling better. i said thank you for being the only one in the van. i said thank you for not hitting someone else's car. i said thank you for having insurance. and here i am. just fine. with a longer view and savoring the blue skies today and temps that eeked up into the 40s. winter will end. it will get warmer, hot even. life goes on. amen. off the soap box. moral of the story? dance. it can fix things.