ten

On Turning Ten by Billy Collins

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

happy birthday eliot, you'll always shine.

there are things

• that this photo makes me think of. that for once i am at a loss for words. i can see it, in the golden light, the blurred edges of his glasses, shining in the sunset. i can feel it too. but i don't quite know how to tell you. so instead i'll just show you here, where i haven't been much. where i miss the little bits of inspiration that used to feed that part of my brain, that doesn't get much use these days. but i know it's still there, because there are those things. you know those things, that we can feel, even if we don't know how to say it.

baker's dozen

thirteen years is a long time for just about anything. but having been married for 13 years and only being 35, it's a heady number to contemplate. a lovely friend (hi allison!) told us about a recent npr program in which the latest generation (X, Y, Z? i can't keep track anymore) is making a greater commitment to stay married, because the previous generation has so much divorce. the most interesting piece of advice was this: whatever your issues or struggles are in your second year of marriage, is what you will have to work on for always. thought provoking isn't it? our same awesome friend (hi allison!) came over yesterday to watch the huffsters so that we could take an afternoon to ourselves to celebrate our anniversary. we went to the LACMA to see the tim burton exhibit (awesome) (no photos allowed, so i've got nothing) and then went to eat at son of a gun. that's right, son of a gun. also awesome (photos semi allowed, got dirty looks from hipsters, but i shot some film anyway jerks). while stuffing our faces with an amazing dinner, we talked about our thirteen years of marriage, and what our issues were in the second year. turns out they were money and travelling for work. two things which are definitely still stressors for us. but we've managed to recognize this over the years, and keep on trucking. sweet, huh? i also thought the concept of a baker's dozen was interesting. the idea being that one is a throw away to avoid having less than a dozen. which lead to a conversation about best and worst years. turns out 2007 stunk. and 2010 - 2011 was rockin'. yeah, of course having kids and whatnot are amazing milestones, but that's a given. i'm not that heartless people. anyway, all that to say, that i can't imagine 13 years with anyone else but a one mister david huffman. i love you my dear. we make us awesome.

ps. in no way did david intend to color coordinate with our date, but i think it's awesome that he did. see? he's the best.

city

saturday we spent the day in LA with our friends chris & kathy and their daughter naomi. they bought a home near fairfax and invited us over for the day. their new house is lovely, and it was fun for us to imagine what it would be like for our family to live in the city. we walked to the farmers market for lunch. molly in case you were wondering, the cochinita pibil from loteria grill IS as good as you remember it. i forgot they had a store at the farmers market, and gladly stood in line for delicious tacos. after lunch we headed to the la brea tar pits. i forgot just how nerdy of an archaeologist i can be. i could have stayed there all day, but the kids were more interested in rolling around outside. i'll have to go back and geek out on my own.

one

like so many things we anticipate, good or bad, when they arrive its like, oh, ok, i've got this. here i sit, one year to the day, from when we moved into this house. one year. one whole year in california. a part of my brain can't really understand this, but apparently the majority of my brain is like, uh yeah, don't worry, i told you, i've got this. we've got a favorite vietnamese place, we know how to get around on surface streets if the freeway is jammed, we found a church we like, we have a secret beach spot, we eat fish tacos, we have a neighborhood we talk about owning a house in someday, we planted flowers, we have friends. friends. so clearly things are going, and going well at that. life is life. just the way we huffmans like to do. and as always our door is open. come on by. i'm pretty darn sure i can guarantee you a nice patio sit, a big glass of smoothie, and a kiddo dance party.

a saturday

i don't get many saturdays free, but when i do, i like to maximize them. hello poor little blog, it's been so long. i hardly know where to start, except to say, wow it's march already. holy cow. while david and i were laying on the grass saturday, watching the huffsters run around i came to an unbelievable conclusion. in just three more months, we will have lived in california for a YEAR. what??? in true huffman fashion, we have upped the ante around here. we thought 2010 was big around here, but oh man, 2011 has certainly muscled its way right to the forefront. work continues to kick my butt into shape. and we just keep doing what we do at huffmania, and enjoy days like this when we get them. but enough about us, how have you been?? and when are you coming to visit?

half and half

today is december 18th. today means we have lived in california for six months. half of the year here and half in kansas city. there are days when it feels as though we have been here forever and ever. and there are days when we pine for the ease of the familiar and the comfort of old friends. but really the wonder of it all is that we keep on living and going through the days, and they are just days. and we build new ease and we build new comfort. we make new friends, and delight in visits from dear friends. and we are good. and really, what more can we ask for? not one single thing more.