p.h.o.t.o.g.r.a.p.h.y

i have always loved photography, the main influence coming from my aunt mary. she went to school for photography, and has worked for many years as a commercial photographer, designer and many other things. most of the black and white photos from my childhood were snapped by her. the picture in the last spt post being my favorite. i used to spend a week or so with her every summer, she lives about three hours away, but for me it was a adventure and always so way more cool than anything that could be found at home. i would spend hours in her studio and dark room, helping patiently and being super quiet. the last thing i wanted to do was annoy her and not get asked back. i would tell her i was going to go to college and study photography and come and work for her studio, collette studios. this was just about the penultimate in my book. of course high school hit. i made close friends and was slightly more interested in spending my summers with them, talking about boys and clothes and shoes instead of with my aunt. i still thought she was cool, but the lure was not as strong. in school i was loving my science and history classes and was vaguely unaware and intimidated by the art classes. i think we had photography, but i wasnt too sure. all i know was that the art kids were just that, art kids through and through. i was not nearly as eclectic or "artsy" enough. i was a nerd that got good grades in all my classes, i was on the straight and narrow. you know, never get a B, get a good scholarship and follow all my friends into some ivy league school that i could never afford. that was the life for me, and photography just slowly drifted away. im not creative, im not artistic, and im certainly not any good, my nerd self told me. oh well. where does art get you anyway, right?

sometimes i wish i could talk with my highschool self and tell her, hey you can be both! smart and artistic. creative and nerdy. dont let it go. keep some delight for yourself. or maybe back even further to my grade school self who thought she would be a writer. author of the famous fifth grade young authors contest winning story "valley of the unicorns". keep it up i would say. you can write and do homework. its possible, no its vital. later you will yearn for a creative outlet. wish you could do more, wish you had started sooner. but would we listen to ourselves? probably not.

my creativity didnt burst onto the scene until my daughter was born. and man did it burst! i stumbled upon a wee little blog and was hooked. a few months later, i was the proud owner of a sewing machine and beginning to amass fabric like crazy. and what does every crafty blogger need, almost more than a sewing machine? a digital camera! so i got one of those too. and i have been snapping away. and all that snapping has made me remember how much i love photography. funny huh? its like a little circle. i have been so inspired lately, as i spend more and more time on flickr looking at amazing photographs, visual blogs like bellablue and port2port just make me melt in delight. and make me want to do something about it. first step is for me to get more familiar with my camera, take it off automatic mode and get daring. its a scary first step for me. there is still a lot of science nerd in me freaking out about anything at all having to do with *gasp* ...a...r...t or *gasp* ...c...r...e...a...t...i...v...i...t...y.... i keep telling the nerd, hey listen sweetie, 2006 is a new year. great things are happening for our family. heck, i might even get to break the bonds of 40 hour a week employment and stay at home! what you say? stay at home? maybe check out photography books from the library? what? maybe take a night class at the art institute this summer? what??? that is crazy talk. or is it? it remains to be seen. my planner is wide open, remember? another scary step was for me to go through iphoto last night and pick out some of my favorite shots that i have taken and put them in a slideshow on flickr. at some point, i will go pro and have more than three sets, so until then, slideshows. i know a lot of them are out of focus, i keep telling myself its "artsy", but it is a beginning.