one down

eleven more months to go. it probably comes as no surprise that i am not the least bit sad to see january go. the closer we get to other months that start with j, the better. i suspect that february is going to be a doozy. i've got two weeks of fieldwork before me, and it has been suggested that the best way to stay warm would be to buy one of these and fill it with whiskey. obviously i have some smart friends. now that eliot's birthday is officially past, i am receiving daily reminders that arlo's is next. and that i should buy something pink and purple that she likes. i'm still not sure what that something is, because that's as specific as she is getting. occasionally she will throw out the word cozy. we'll see. it's hard to think of buying more things when all i want to do is get rid of 60% of the things in my closet. did you see maria's ruthless guidelines? i plan on getting down to business as soon as i get back and thaw myself. and i've still got those throw pillows on the back burner. sheesh.

eight is great

it would be absolutely true to say that in many ways eliot changed my life. he is my firstborn child. before eliot, i was not a mother. after, well, i guess the after is pretty obvious. but here is the thing, eliot is a great kid. like really great. like it's hard for me to believe sometimes that he is the person he is. did we make this? how can this be? did he just say what i think he did? how did he get so smart? why is he so sweet? this stream of questions has been running through my brain for the last eight years. i still have no answers, apart from the person you see before you. all i know is that if eliot were not my son, he is still someone i would be happy to know, and count as a friend. happy birthday son. when i think of you all grown up, i can see the best person possible. i love you.

RIP

jd salinger

Esmé was standing with crossed ankles again. "You're quite sure you won't forget to write that story for me?" she asked. "It doesn't have to be exclusively for me. It can--"
I said there was absolutely no chance that I'd forget. I told her that I'd never written a story for anybody, but that it seemed like exactly the right time to get down to it.
She nodded. "Make it extremely squalid and moving," she suggested. "Are you at all acquainted with squalor?"
I said not exactly but that I was getting better acquainted with it, in one form or another, all the time, and that I'd do my best to come up to her specifications. We shook hands.
"Isn't it a pity that we didn't meet under less extenuating circumstances?"
I said it was, I said it certainly was.
"Goodbye, " Esmé said. "I hope you return from the war with all your faculties intact."
I thanked her, and said a few other words, and then watched her leave the tearoom. She left it slowly, reflectively, testing the ends of her hair for dryness.

attached

this was one of those really full weeks. lots of commitments, lots of stress, lots of wondering. not to say it was a bad week. not by any means. i made some lovely bread, collette had her first sleep over (they stayed up until 10:30!), i got to take photos of some wonderful people, and to top it all off, the sun came out today! collette asked if it was summer, she reasoned it must be as the snow was gone and the sun was out. she thought she should step outside to check the temperature. not summer. we were both disappointed. if only it were that easy. i also had time to finally read a book that my friend hanne sent me, called the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. i kind of can't stop thinking about it. how do we find that perfect balance between full on scientific rationalism on one side, and emotional attachment on the other? and isn't it crazy how many different levels of emotional attachment there can be? how you can feel so deeply for something. i sometimes feel like i don't form deep enough attachments. like with my children. don't get me wrong i love them, but i'm not one of those parents who says things like "i couldn't go away on vacation without them, i'd miss them too much". i'm more like how can we make this happen? i need a break, time with my husband. where we can talk about things and not fulfill the unending stream of requests that is a child. i seem to have wandered a bit... anyway, this week was a full one. i think the next will be the same. there is a boy here who is turning EIGHT. i can't really wrap my mind around that. i keep saying to him, "BUT I CAN REMEMBER BEING EIGHT!", dang.

eye candy

we've been under grey fog for five or six days now. at first it was really cool and pretty, but now i kind of feel like my eyes have glazed over. i've gone hunting for something different to look at instead. here are some of my current favorites:
double exposures (thanks john for the link)
night swim
the land between here and mountains
yvan rodic (better know as the facehunter, but i love this, his personal blog, more)
andrew sea james
petits bonheurs (makes me want throw out all the girls clothes and dress them as little french sisters)

what are you looking at these days?

99.9% sure

pretty average week here at home. nothing really out of the ordinary, especially in light of what is going on in haiti. for me, pictures say it all. i was thinking at some point this week that i am 99.9% certain that my house will not suddenly crumble around me. a fact that i am so certain of, that i pretty much never think about it. a fact that now seems like a gift. and i wonder how many other small miracles in my life i am missing every day. i have no answers to these questions, and definitely no answers to the million questions about haiti. if you have a moment, look at this post from my friend melissa, it is something to do. something easy at that. there are also so many different ways to donate both locally and nationally, but you probably already know that.

edit: local people, my friend maureen emailed me this information about a benefit for haitian relief at the record bar this week. here are the details:

Benefit for Haitian Relief

6:30pm

Wednesday, January 20

The Record Bar

Featuring:

The Elders

Sara Swenson

Danny Cox

Walkenhorst & Porter

Sponsored by Pilgrim Chapel & The Record Bar

$10 at the door | All proceeds and a portion of the bar will go to the American Red Cross Haitian Relief Fun.

10 days down, 12,000 words done

i'd say things about the 365 project, and reflection and whatnot, but david says it so much better. so, without further ado, our last 1000 words. thank you so much for your support of our project. it's been something else.

contra

dude...

hello there 2010

it's hard to believe that we are in a new year, and let's not talk about this new decade. i'm not ready for that. i can talk a bit about goals and projects. not resolutions, because to be resolute sounds so negative. goals is much more positive, don't you think? david and i both have a huge plateful of professional goals that would make 2010 a real stunner. keep your fingers crossed on that front. it's the little things though that seem so hard to keep fresh. like i really need to drink more water. sometimes i won't have a single sip the whole day. terrible. of course i realize this right before bedtime, chug a glass and then my bladder gets even later. bad habit. so little things. drink more water. sew pillows for the couch (if we're getting technical i suppose this should say sew covers for the pillow inserts i've had for the couch over a year now). recover the dinning room chairs. man if i get super duper technical, the top of the little list would have to be finish sewing the christmas presents for the kids that didn't get done in time. this seems to be getting out of hand quite quickly. let's move on to projects instead. i've started a 365 project for this year. the goal being to take and post a photo each day of the year. step by step is how i plan to keep on track. i've started a set on my flickr page, and i'm thinking i might do a weekly summary of sorts over here. maybe. let's not get crazy. other projects of interest for this year include posting our 12th 1000 words story this month. it's almost been a whole year! how crazy. we've got all these fun ideas bubbling on the back burner for that too. i've got a show lined up for july that i'll talk more about later too. and band photos to take for some dear friends! man. now my project list is getting all crazy too. see? 2010. i'm expecting big things from you. bumper crop.