1.24.2010

attached

19/365
23/365
this was one of those really full weeks. lots of commitments, lots of stress, lots of wondering. not to say it was a bad week. not by any means. i made some lovely bread, collette had her first sleep over (they stayed up until 10:30!), i got to take photos of some wonderful people, and to top it all off, the sun came out today! collette asked if it was summer, she reasoned it must be as the snow was gone and the sun was out. she thought she should step outside to check the temperature. not summer. we were both disappointed. if only it were that easy. i also had time to finally read a book that my friend hanne sent me, called the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. i kind of can't stop thinking about it. how do we find that perfect balance between full on scientific rationalism on one side, and emotional attachment on the other? and isn't it crazy how many different levels of emotional attachment there can be? how you can feel so deeply for something. i sometimes feel like i don't form deep enough attachments. like with my children. don't get me wrong i love them, but i'm not one of those parents who says things like "i couldn't go away on vacation without them, i'd miss them too much". i'm more like how can we make this happen? i need a break, time with my husband. where we can talk about things and not fulfill the unending stream of requests that is a child. i seem to have wandered a bit... anyway, this week was a full one. i think the next will be the same. there is a boy here who is turning EIGHT. i can't really wrap my mind around that. i keep saying to him, "BUT I CAN REMEMBER BEING EIGHT!", dang.

8 Comments:

Anonymous stephanie said...

i read that book and have heard it is a fairly good interpretation of what's going on in an autistic person's mind.

i *was* that mom didn't want to ever be apart from my kids, and i ended up having an autistic kid who shows me little to no affection, shrinks at my every touch, and usually only speaks to me when he has a very urgent need. go figure.

what i have learned (often the hard way)is that emotional attachment is not static—it is fluid. that there are many ways to love and be loved. that's all i know. xo.

1:11 PM  
Blogger liza said...

sounds like a great book.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Tara Thayer said...

the other night we sat at dinner with our two families-we both have a lot going on, but in one of our families, the father is dying. a lot going on. even tragedy doesn't stop kids from being high maintenance.
we looked at each other, my sweet,smart friend and i, and she said "raising kids is exhausting."
hannah, david said it best: life is hard, short, and great.

6:21 PM  
Anonymous molly said...

such quiet beauty, that split second there

i began the book, but couldn't finish. too close to home, too dull, really, too much like real life, with my own sweet sweet boy

6:25 PM  
Blogger Juanita said...

It goes quick, doesn't it? Days, weeks, years measured in birthdays, childhood to oldhood.

Lovely captured moments - laughter and play are good antidotes to the tougher times!

9:59 PM  
Anonymous Laura. said...

oh, i wish summer worked like that!
it sounds like you have a healthy attachment to your children, it's so good to still be aware of your own needs. and it probably seems weird coming from a complete stranger, but if we were friends, i would pack my little suitcase and come stay with your kids for a few days while you parents went away.
your photos always capture a moment in a really unique way--like no one else's.

7:33 AM  
Anonymous hanne said...

i reread the book recently. i think it's very good and funny, and quite good as a portrait of an utistic mind.
me too. about the motherhood. i need some time alone (and with jon andreas). i think (hope) that's healthy. :)

6:11 AM  
Blogger Isabelle said...

I love that book too. And I really like the photo of the woman with her head in her hands.

12:34 PM  

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