happy to be not dead

I suppose that's a strange way to start. Happy to be not dead, particularly if you didn't see the op-ed at the NY Times, but I like it.  I like the idea that there are many ways to be alive, but pretty much only one way to appreciate not being dead.  This thought was prevalent in my mind while we visited David's Grandpa over the weekend.  This sweet man is ready to leave this world.  Not physically, physically he's in pretty good health for a 94 year old, but mentally he wants to be done.  He wants to move over to heaven and be with the ones he loves who are already there.  And really, who am I to argue with that?  Hmmm.  I didn't really expect this post to have gone this direction, since we're usually supposed to be thinking of what we are thankful for.  I know, I know, I am thankful to be alive, and thankful for my family. We had a lovely, quiet Thanksgiving.  But really I am most thankful for David who washed, dried and put away each and every dish after dinner.  He is the best.  I'm thankful for sunshine and swimming in November.  Not that I did any swimming, I just took advantage of the sun and did some major basking.  Probably my best skill.  I'm thankful for friends who welcome us into their home like family.  I'm thankful for the giggles, snorts, and general ruckus that is my three children, even though sometimes I'd like nothing more than for them to shut up, it makes me happy that they get along with each other so well.  I'm thankful for that Arlo.  She makes me smile, makes me stop and cuddle, and softens my hard edges.  And David.  There is no list, just all of him.  What about you? 

feeding

i've been thinking lately that it's time.  time to feed my creative brain again.  time to pick up the camera.  time to scratch out a few thoughts in this little corner of mine.  stretch out those creaky old muscles of mine.  i realized something.  i need that part of me.  i put it aside for a few years.  willingly.  out of necessity.  i became a creature of habit.  work, see those people of mine for a few hours, sleep, work some more.  the only way to juggle those three things was to put something else down.  and i did.  and it was hard.  but good.  and hard.  but it's time to grow that bit again.  and the only way to grow, is to feed.  right?  here we go.  hi.